The Virtual connection
In a time when people are already struggling with communication, politically correct lingo, exposure to more and more beings around them and on the planet, sales surveillance consumer hunters and lives with endless multi tasking and do! do! doing~ its quite hard to ask them to do all of it but also now do it mostly in the virtual because of their "safety".
A very tricky road to walk. For anyone.
Above all for many who struggle with just plain Communicating in person.
Online many of us who love touch and holding another or just exploring another have to adjust many things too.
However it is not impossible.
If its not possible now just the fact that it was birthed as an idea leaves that possibility open to probability and as it grows so to does it begin to manifest.
No matter where that thought went.
Which leads us to intention.
Living a life with purpose, with intention, and with presence can indeed change your life. And it is a key thing when it comes to our virtual communication and experiences.
Opening up the channels for bringing into use many tools that we have in our tool belt.
As well as opening the roads filled with quick judgements and assumptions that can impede our chances at quality experiences of the connections that are already there waiting to be experienced or not.
What is your intention?
Start with that.
Some may say it is simply to reach out and connect.
Well guess what we are already connected we are actually in fact the connector, the connection and all that that entails.
So lets move on to experiencing that connection.
A great way is to eliminate unhealthy judgements.
In previous writings I explain the healthy vs unhealthy judgements but to recap I shall just give a small and very easy to picture and embrace ~ example.
Lets say we see a man on the street selling caricatures a bit dirty from riding his bike around the beach peddling his art skills, it is easy to assume that he is not living a socially successful life nor very happy.
To base our assumption on things we have heard about "those" people and if he is old then we move onto other assumptions and unhealthy judgements.
That assumption can be based on our limited knowledge of life based on our lives and the lives and standards of others which we have adopted as ours.
But it can be unhealthy because we know very little about said person and so hinder our openness to the experience of that person.
Now you may say well I don't want to experience that person anyway based on assumptions and unhealthy judgements and whatever else you want to call it Shakti!
But to continue the example just humor me.
In actuality that man that looks like he is homeless and down and out.
Is actually married to an heiress of a great fortune who was a great looker back in the day.
He was also a major artist for huge rock stars in the 60's. Him and the old lady used to be who major rock stars partied with and dropped loads of acid with. His wife became ill and ended up in a mental institution for a very very long time.
Without his queen he felt all he had was his art and his once a week visits to the mental hospital to visit her. He loved the ocean and still loved people and entertaining them but he felt that he had plenty of money to last him till the end of days and so just wanted to make enough money each year to pay for the property taxes. With that he had enough. So he would go to the beach in Fort Lauderdale and ride his bike up and down the beach peddling his caricatures to sunbathers, bar hoppers or just anyone who would give him a buck or two for his art.
He was indeed a real character and based on what you saw you would make a very far from the target judgement of who and what he was.
His story was quite facinating and by healthy judgement you would have the experience of quite the man.
From an artistic sense his story would blow your mind and as a husband he was one of the most loyal men you would ever get a chance to meet.
Very much based on that, on the facts, you could now judge that he was a man of his word when it came to those he loved at the very least.
You could also judge that he was not about consumerism because if he wanted he could use her name..use his previous art history to continue a life of glam and partying just because he had access to people that had access to people who would buy it. Based on the present day facts you could judge that he was not about a 9 to 5 or any type of framework in the conventional.
He had never really been into that. For him it was always about the people, his love and companion and the art of it all.
The reason for stepping out of the rat race was that he never really was in it. And his decision to live like he did was because he felt he had achieved what he did and was happy with it. Absolutely fulfilled but without his life partner he had no desire for more. He was fulfilled except for not having his love by his side and yet even then he was in his own way happy with what he had and still being able to see her once a week. Not having her every day was the reason he began drinking and some days he did and others he didn't. If anything that was something he owned. He admitted to being a boozer because that was really all he could do in his mentality and beingness to ease the pain of the day his life changed forever and his wife was institutionalized.
He felt he just wanted to not take out of the money they had aquiered every year to pay the property taxes which were alot and if his wife was to live long he wanted to always be able to have her in the best institution.
Quite different from anything most would assume or judge him as.
For the most part in Mickey's case the whole town was proven wrong when a newspaper reported his story.
But that doesn't change because judgement was and always is indeed passed based on our society and how we do not question most things. We say we are open and although we are in our essence, open, we still see the world through the lenses of others.
We fear asking the wrong thing or being open enough to get hurt.
We see with fogged lenses.
And in the virtual this happens even faster at times. The quick judgement based on a screen not on your own exploration of another human being.
Simply opening yourself up by accepting that you do not know a person is a great start.
By opening yourself up many fear getting hurt which is totally standard.
And valid. There are many types of people out there and not all have good hearts nor are people that you can just open the door of your life too. That too is valid and ok.
The virtual connection does give you many tools and a multi purpose ways of expanding your experience of the entire collective that you are a part of.
To make the online experience a fuller more productive and satisfying one lets proceed with some of the tools vs a load of unhealthy judgements.
Lets get back to the intent.
When in the virtual mode we still have a reason why we are chatting or reaching out to this person.
Now what is that?
What is the intent behind that?
In truth because ya already know that you can not fake your vibe.
So what is your true intent?
If it is to get to know someone so you can "based on facts" judge if the connection is worth experiencing, then lets take it from there.
The intent is to explore this connection and see if it serves us.
Is it going to allow our happiness to play and be shared?
Is it going to bring out more happiness?
Is this similar to our path and could it serve our livelihood or knowledge about something? Is this going to entertain us? Etc.
Once you have your intent set then begin steering towards a way to establish how and if it will serve you.
Be yourself because online people have a way of complicating things by believing that playing a fictional online persona is going to make their lives any easier.
It may in some disturbing way but not for long.
The virtual connection does give you many tools and a multi purpose way of expanding your experience of not only new people but people you already know.
Lets start with the basics
A~ you have the person at a direct full frontal. Hopefully with proper lighting. We want to see and be seen.
You can hear them and they are quite possibly in their natural habitat.
This is all good.
Now get into presence snap out of it whatever bubble you are and with intent (reason / purpose) and get ready to truly have the experience of them.
A great thing to do online (just like in person) is aim for looking at the eyes and face.
You want to observe if they keep eye contact. When they speak do they often look away?
Do they squint or do their eyes sparkle when they mention certain things?
You want to see what truly interests them, what lights them up, what they are passionate about.
Live the moments you are creating.
◇Notice when the attention fades
◇ Observe the language
The choice of words and tone used when saying certain words.
◇ play you show me yours I'll show you mine
Talk to them about something you are passionate about. Mention things that peak your interest and then ask them to share if it doesn't take off naturally.
When online even if you are in a public setting, you do have the advantage that you have that person captivated by the screen. If not just be in observance.
Don't assume anything.
If it happens again then ask
***You can ask or say whatever you like with love and compassion.
Do not take anything personal.
The person may have a hard day going on, may simply not like the virtual.
Or they may not be comfortable with the virtual.
They may be bad in their minds, with the virtual dynamics.
If you sense that then take the upper hand and begin creating a nurturing environment for only good to grow.
Set your boundaries with comfort so they too feel that confort and are open to set theirs.
And if they set theirs and you do not agree or like them you must still respect them because we can not expect people to accept us completely if we do not accept them.
Setting boundaries will come up in emotional intelligence exchanges whether it be a work connection, a casual connection or a sensual connection.
As it should.
Setting boundaries saves time. Its better to talk alot at first and not scream later.
Setting boundaries and letting people know how you like to be spoken to, letting them know that you value knowing where you stand is important because ultimately we all are responsible for teaching people how to treat us.
On the flip side we must listen to the boundaries of others.
And respect them.
Once true listening takes place and respect for yourself and the other is present then that communication can be obviously, of much greater value and substance.
That being said many have been brought up believing that respect "must be earned" and that may be deeply embedded. But the fact is in initial interactions all human beings we have chosen to interact with deserve our respect as plain human beings we have chosen to allow into our space.
In my partcular situation I work with sexuality and often with trauma affected people, people becoming more themselves on their paths of discovery. That being said I am approached by all walks of life. I have respect for all who approach me however I monitor all from the initial "hello" or form of communication.
I will not proceed with just a "hey".
I accept proper introductions. If a person feels no need to introduce themselves then what is that and why?
I immediately ask for a proper introduction.
A request which is normally met with either an understanding apology and corrected or ~
Person refuses by either continuing with no further info but instead asking something else and carrying on
At which point I must state in a firm way
"Who are you?"
because I have no need to talk with someone who either has poor manners
Has such low self esteem that they feel no importance in their sharing an ounce of themselves such as a name and reason for contacting
A sneaky game playing person
I personally have no need for that. Its too much.
If you have to teach a person to properly introduce themselves and when you do they take offense or refuse that to me is too much of a struggle for someone that I am by nature connected to but do not know.
That is my personal choice and need not be everyone's but it is a time saver and quality sifter.
They are contacting me, my website and social media have plenty of information, there is
even an "about me" page and they are reaching out to me so asking for a salutation, a name and reason for contacting in a mannerly fashion, is not asking for much.
Some may even say,
"Well you may lose some business"
I say that be fine because the quality of the people I work with is high and I like keeping it that way.
Never feel as if you can't ask for the basics.
Even right from the beginning of any interaction we can responsibly set the stage and tone.
In the virtual these basic things like greetings and mannerisms, tone, language choice of words can all be observed. Leave the judgement to experience.
Experience these connections by being present as present as the computer and network that you are on.
Be superior to that which you created.
Through experience use the mind as a tool and you command it to focus /collect and store the data you choose.
Experience people as an energy being in a super human body, really it is! And with technology at your hands
Faster communication,more efficient interactions, discovery of self through the experience of others.
We are going to evolve
Transform into something.
Enhance that interaction
Be authentic so that energy flows through time and currents.
Be present in all
(C) 2020 Shakti Durga healing arts