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Let's get a little Lingo going. Tantric ..sacred intimate and go!

"Tantric Massage” — A tantric massage is the centerpiece of tantric healing. This modality is a perfect choice for those seeking pleasure and relaxation. It is often a useful modality for learning more about your body, about subtle energy, and about your potential for pleasure, connection, and intimacy. The practitioner of a tantric massage is usually called a daka (m) or dakini (f). A true tantric massage from a qualified daka or dakini will include traditional massage, but also sensual touch and, depending on the practitioner’s style, some combination of energy movement, guidance around mindfulness, and coaching of breath, sound, or motion. The usual expectation is there will be intimate touch (at least external, and optionally internal) and the sexual energy that accompanies it. However, this is not always the case: some dakas and dakinis use sexual energy without sexual touch as a rule. Tantric massage is also the starting point for exploring tantric teachings and experiences of sacred sexuality. It is important to note that there are many practitioners who advertise their service as “tantric massage,” but use that term as fancy or coded name for a sensual massage that has little or nothing to do with tantra — hoping that the exotic allure of tantra will attract clients. It’s worthwhile to ask a tantric massage provider about where they received their training, or to describe what the session will be like. You can expect a true daka or dakini to include practices involving energy, breath, gaze, sounding or mindfulness as part of the session. “Tantric Healing” — This is often another term for tantric massage. When someone in the tantra world talks about a “healing session,” they generally mean a particular flavor of tantric massage. The difference is in the intention of healing — which can encompass physical, emotional, energetic or spiritual healing. Tantric healing often uses sexual energy as a healing tool, but can include a much broader range of energy and shamanic work. “Sexological Bodywork” —This is another form of sensual massage that is often used for healing or educational purposes. The Sexological Bodywork organization is part of a movement to gain broader societal acceptance for sexual healing by establishing clear purposes and professional standards for bodywork that involves intimate touch. This modality has gained limited legal recognition in California, as well as full support in Canada and some other countries. The Sexological Bodywork organization trains “SexBod” practitioners with an emphasis on safety, professionalism, and a slightly more clinical intention than the other modalities discussed here. Sexological Bodywork sessions are not clinical in a medical sense, but the focus tends to be more on the physical aspects of the session. Practitioners use gloves, remain fully clothed, and often do not enter into any of the “sacred sexuality” dimensions common in tantric healing and sacred intimate sessions. “Yoni Massage,” “Lingam Massage” — These are massages involving intimate touch. ‘Yoni’ is a tantric term for the female genitalia, ‘lingam’ for the male. They are not necessarily separate experiences from a tantric massage, but they may indicate more emphasis on the intimate touch. A classical dakini: the Vajra Rose Dakini. Learn more about the origins of tantra. “Dakini,” “Daka” — These are recent terms used to refer to a tantric guide. The dakini (f) or daka (m) may work in sensual and sexual healing modes, but the term can also be used for other kinds of tantric guide. Some work primarily as coaches, as spiritual guides, and the tantric healing they offer may not involve intimate massage. Most commonly, however, dakas and dakinis offer tantric healing. (Historically, there is no evidence for the term ‘daka’ in classical tantra, the dakini was a woman who had mastered tantric powers, and could use them in healing — or frightening — ways.) “Sexual Surrogate” — Sometimes just called a surrogate. In its “correct” usage, this is a practitioner who does hands on work under the guidance of a licensed sex therapist. The ‘surrogate’ refers to the fact that the practitioner does what a sex therapist is forbidden by law and professional standards from doing — but which the client may need. Surrogates provide hands-on, experiential guidance, even building up to and including sexual union (i.e., intercourse). One key difference between the modalities listed earlier vs. sexual surrogates and sacred intimates (described below) is the openness to mutual touch. These two modalities are well-suited for clients seeking to learn sexual techniques or to become comfortable with sexual touch (as may be the case following trauma or a long time without sexual interaction). A good sexual surrogate — like a good daka or dakini — maintains professional boundaries with his or her clients that ensure both parties’ physical and emotional safety. “Sacred Intimate” — The sacred intimate is another term for a practitioner using sexuality in a healing way. A sacred intimate is very much like a sexual surrogate, but without oversight by a licensed sex therapist. Because of this, the sacred intimate is the one guiding the healing/learning process (in collaboration with the client). Not all sacred intimates actually do hands-on sensual healing work, but those that do generally include mutual touch and may include sexual union. Often, an experienced practitioner will work in more than one of these roles or capacities! comprehensive or authoritative index  You should also google for your area. Examples: Tantric healing <city> Tantric massage <city> Lingam massage <city> Yoni massage <city> Top, experienced practitioners should appear in the first two pages of search results. A Note on Gender Generally speaking, there are far more women doing this work than men, for the simple reason that there are far more men looking for this service than women. It will be easier to find a female practitioner than a male practitioner, and some of the male practitioners will also be primarily working with male clients. Even with a healing intention, it can be most powerful to work with a practitioner of the gender you are primarily attracted to. The use of sexual energy and sexual polarity along with the creation of a safe space can be the most powerful way to release traumatic experiences and memories. That said, people with extreme trauma may want to begin with an approach that avoids directly confronting those traumas and working with a practitioner of the gender opposite to the perpetrator of trauma. By way of example, a straight woman wishing to overcome vaginismus (vaginal tightness and pain) that arose after a sexual assault by a man may want to eventually work with a male practitioner. A daka can provide a template of loving, trustworthy male sexual touch that can allow women to release apprehensions and fears around sexual intimacy. What if there’s nobody near me? If you are outside major urban areas, there may be no practitioners in your locale. In that case, you may want to plan some travel! As mentioned above, tantric healing massage in particular has a way of getting to the root of deep-seated issues quickly, often in just a few sessions. Many clients are surprised to find that issues they’ve been working with talk therapists or even medical professionals for years to address are largely resolved in just a few sessions. It may seem like a big investment, but the sheer efficiency of a talented dakini or daka is well worth it. It’s important to note that if you are seeking out tantric healing, plan on at least 2–3 days between sessions to allow yourself to process and integrate each experience. Some practitioners will be glad to travel to you, and some practitioners travel as a matter of course. You will see that some practitioner websites have multiple locations on them. Find out when their next trip to your area might be. If they are already traveling to an area near you, they might be up for a detour! Do be aware that providers often charge more for sessions away from their home base. Finally, if you are already planning your own vacation, some practitioners will do “vacation intensives” — multi-day experiences that may include not just bodywork sessions, but sometimes yoga, meditation, coaching or other elements, too. These VIP experiences usually includes either fees for all the individual services or a flat daily rate, plus payment for the practitioner’s travel, room, and board.  This is where the first step “Know what you want” comes in. With a list of possibilities, review the website of each prospective practitioner. See whose personal statements and service descriptions resonate with you and best match up with your desire. This is also the first challenge to trusting your intuition. If you have any sense from any of the websites that this person is not for you: trust that intuition. You are going to need to continue to trust your intuition throughout this process, and this is where to start. Here are a few things not to emphasize: Price. Many practitioners are willing to offer some form of sliding scale for those who bring a genuine need. Many, but not all: more experienced practitioners simply have so much demand they could work themselves sick to meet the needs of their community. If paying your preferred practitioner’s rate presents a real hardship for you, it never hurts to inquire about their pricing policies. Training. Depth of training (or the absence of it) does not necessarily mean the practitioner is or isn’t the right one for you. A long list of certifications is certainly not a bad thing: it indicates the practitioner cares deeply for this work and has a love of learning. But if your intuition is pointing away from a practitioner, don’t  ---------------------------- Some practitioners will be able to make time for a face to face meeting; others won’t. Some may prefer to talk to you initially over a phone call or a Skype chat. You should expect a consultation to last 15–30 minutes. (Note: there is an unfortunate tendency for men to claim to be prospective clients, and waste the time of female practitioners with dubious “consultations” — and as a result, not all dakinis will offer a phone consultation without a compelling reason. You might need to convince her via email that you are serious, worth her investment, and that a phone call would help you finalize your decision. Think Inara in Firefly.)

****** definitely getting to this point because I am getting busier with a productive life experience. - says me! (If in doubt I require a phone call. I can use the boundary that the energy is not something I want to share space with or any reason really. Tantra allows and accepts setting boundaries. - Shakti) Your prospective practitioner may ask you to describe yourself, your situation, and your intentions and desires for seeking out this kind of bodywork. If not, be sure to offer this. ************* Extra Tips for Women Seeking a Male Practitioner: It is unfortunate that this needs a callout, but the fact is, it does. As noted above, there are far fewer male practitioners than female ones, and because of the economic imbalance, many male practitioners are not as experienced or not as serious as female practitioners. And, the truly unfortunate truth is, male practitioners have been known to cause harm. The female client wanting to work with a male practitioner should take extra steps to ensure safety: you want to work with an intuitive, competent, qualified professional who specializes in the area you want to explore. But don’t be scared off! The healing power of masculine energy is enormous when it is brought in integrity. The templating that can happen when working with a great male practitioner is a powerful means of transformation. Not being devoted to tantra as a vocation doesn’t mean a practitioner isn’t fully qualified, but it is a warning sign that they might not be ready for a more challenging ********session.*********(exactly says shakti) _______________________

Some tips from a Male tantric especially for my ladies not in my area or uncomfy with a woman tantric. 

Mathias Rose and work found here at www.moksha-tantra.org


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